Couple on a Park Bench Having a ConversationWhen you feel like you’ve found “the one,” you may be eager to move into the next stage of your relationship. While the impulse to get engaged can be strong, it is important not to rush matters until you’ve had a chance to discuss certain topics. According to marriage experts, there are specific conversations that must be had early in a relationship to avoid major problems down the line. To feel assured that your partner is the person you should be with, review these topics and learn more about what makes a marriage last. 

Fidelity

Statistics show that infidelity is the top cause for a relationship’s deterioration. While you can’t expect a partner to come out and say, “I might cheat on you one day,” you can glean an answer by coming at the topic from a different angle. Ask yourself how honest you feel your significant other is with you. Do you ever feel like he or she is holding something back? Did previous relationships fall apart due to a lack of trust? While there is no way to guarantee fidelity, having a strong sense of trust in your partner is vital. 

Since people change as time moves on, you may want to consider whether you could remain with your partner if he or she ever cheated on you. If you feel like infidelity is a dealbreaker and you don’t have complete faith in your significant other, getting engaged might be the wrong choice. 

Money

Another big reason that marriages fall apart is due to financial troubles. Specifically, there tends to be a lot of friction when there is a lack of transparency about money in a relationship. While many experts state that there is nothing wrong with having separate bank accounts once you’ve tied the knot, you should always remain open and honest about this. Having a secret account can be problematic because it can lead to a lack of trust. When you keep something from your significant other, he or she is going to feel a sense of betrayal. 

Before you get engaged, you should discuss your finances from a variety of perspectives. Talk about your spending and saving habits, as well as how you plan to join your finances once you’ve gotten married. Though it might be awkward at first, you may also wish to talk about prenuptial agreements and other precautionary methods of protecting yourself if the relationship does not work out. 

Communication

How you and your partner handle conflict is incredibly important to the health of your relationship. Are you both willing to come to the table to have open discussions after an argument? Do either of you shut down when there is friction? How often does a simple conversation escalate into a screaming match? By talking over your communication habits with your partner, you can pinpoint any areas that seem problematic. Working on the way you interact with each other before marriage can help to lay the foundation for helpful communication methods down the line. 

Children

Finally, you should always be on the same page about children before entering into an engagement. Studies show that people rarely change their minds on whether they want to have kids. If you have a strong desire to raise little ones and your partner has no interest in children, this is an indication that the relationship is not meant to be. No matter how much you love this person, you may need to end things when you have different views on what you want in the long run. 

Many marriages fall apart when couples fail to talk about certain topics in advance. By discussing important areas like finances and children before you get engaged, you can determine whether you’re with the right person.

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