Preparing for a wedding requires engaged couples to lock in dates, make arrangements, and secure contracts with venues and vendors. While the big day will require you to see the details, realize that you also need to prepare for the days that follow. One of the best ways to get ready is by having conversations with your partner about the life you’ll be sharing. It’s important to know where you both stand on various topics before you make things official. 

Finances

As spouses, you’ll probably make major purchases for shared financial goals, such as buying a house or preparing for retirement. You need to have an honest discussion about money and finances. How much income will each of you contribute to your household? Will you share bank accounts? What are your views on debt, investing, and insurance? You may have dramatically divergent opinions on how to manage money, and it’s good to know sooner than later. 

Family and Children

Marriages are usually either the start of a new family or the blending of existing family units. The subject of children is one the two of you need to be open and honest about. Do you want kids, and if so, how many? What timeframe are you considering?

It’s critical that both of you are on the same page when it comes to expanding your family. You would hate to discover after marriage that your partner doesn’t want kids while you do. Keep in mind that the topic of children will also lead to other related subjects such as education and finances. 

Health and Medical History

The topic of kids should spark a conversation about health and medical history. For example, if medical conditions run in your family, it could be an issue if you decide to have children. Even if kids aren’t in the picture, discussing your health and medical history is essential. Chronic diseases and medical conditions should prompt additional communication about long-term medical care and end-of-life planning.

Faith and Belief

Interfaith couples should definitely talk openly about their religious beliefs and practices. Religion and spirituality provide guidance and direction on how you live. When you live with another person, your religious views (or lack thereof) will impact your relationship. Even if you both ascribe to the same faith, one may make it a larger priority than the other. Don’t enter into a lifelong union blind on this subject. 

Politics and Points of View

Similar to religion, politics and worldviews are crucial subjects to discuss beforehand. Your partner may hold strong opinions that don’t align with yours. Can you accept that? Some differences of opinion are to be expected, but being too far apart can form cracks in your relationship.

Conflicts and Disagreements

Speaking of politics, how do you and your spouse-to-be handle conflict resolution? While conflicts and disagreements are a healthy part of relationships, how you get through them matters. Do you tend to avoid confrontation? Do you let small issues fester and become bigger problems? A healthy marriage is one where you both recognize your triggers, blindspots, and insecurities and how they manifest in conflicts. 

Sex and Affection

Whether you and your partner are sexually active or not, conversations about sex, affection, and intimacy are also important. Are you open about what turns you on? Do you understand what your partner responds or doesn’t respond to? Sexual compatibility is a serious topic before and during your union.

When you exchange vows, you and your partner will pledge a lifetime of commitment despite various circumstances. Don’t wait until you become spouses to talk about critical topics that impact your lives as individuals and as a couple. It’s better to have potentially difficult discussions now than devastating ones later.