Money is often a very difficult topic of conversation between two people, especially a couple about to marry. When it comes to your upcoming nuptials, this topic can be even more difficult. After all, you’re about to embark on a new phase in life’s journey, and a big celebration involving family and friends is usually the move. There’s also reason to believe that how you start something can dramatically affect the experience. Starting a marriage with significant debt from a wedding is not fun. Here are some tips for encouraging your spouse-to-be to be a bit more frugal.

Talk About Goals

There are a lot of emotions wrapped up in wedding-day plans. Consider talking about future shared goals of your life together and how those goals are better served by saving money on the nuptials. Many elements of a traditional wedding are designed for the moment. Focus on the things that are more permanent and important such as money for a down payment on a new home or buying a family vehicle with cash. You might be able to appeal to your partner’s sense of logic, but short-term and long-term objectives can be a better motivation for saving.

Watch Your Tone

While you should never talk down to your partner, it’s important that the wisdom of your point of view not get lost in your approach. How you do something is often more impactful than what you do. Try to avoid preaching, nagging or talking down to your partner. Learn your future spouse’s communication style. You might not be able to use words to make your case, but a loving demonstration may do what speech cannot.

Look for Compromise

Sometimes you’ve got to give a little to get a little. If your partner wants a fancy gown or suit for the big day, maybe you can agree to a compromise that involves renting an outfit instead of a purchase. Does your future spouse have a sweet tooth? Instead of a massive, multi-tiered cake that can cost well into four figures, maybe similarly flavored cupcakes is an option for meeting in the middle. Married couples should be flexible and accommodating. A willingness to compromise shows that your partner’s thoughts and feelings are valuable to you.

Get Creative

As one half of the union, there are certain things that you get to call the shots on. You may be able to lower the cost of a wedding by getting creative about finding savings in your choices. Perhaps you can rent the jewelry that you’re wearing or opt for a less expensive hairstyle for the big day. You might inspire your better half to find ways to save money. At the very least, you’ve done what you can to start your marriage on a better financial foundation.

Involve Your Loved Ones

Suppose you have a cousin or longtime friend who works as a wedding vendor or can offer services at a discount. This is a good way to involve someone who is important to you. If that person is not the most experienced professional, you may be able to save money instead of hiring a seasoned pro. You can appeal to your partner’s enthusiasm for including the dearest of the dear in the day’s festivities. Killing two birds with one stone never sounded so good!

If none of these suggestions work, prepare for the possibility that your partner won’t budge and learn to accept that. This is the person you love and want to see happy. You’ve done what you can, but now it’s time to move forward. Focus on the joy of the life ahead. Recognize that you may need to keep separate bank accounts or take a closer look at how expenses will be divided. Don’t miss out on the essential things while worrying about the wedding-day budget.