Pride has a complicated reputation. Some may claim that it is essential to effective parenting or friendship, while others feel like it hinders more than it helps. Several Christian traditions even list it among the deadliest sins. Even people of faith who don't rank it among the chief evils often agree that feeling proud of yourself is something that should be kept in balance. 

Merriam-Webster has many definitions of pride. It can be pleasure derived from achievements, status, honor or relationships. It can also be harmful if it is inflated or exaggerated. When pride functions as the opposite of humility, it can isolate you from God and others, but when it operates to overcome shame, it can be healthy and liberating.

Personal Disadvantages of Unchecked Pride

It's great to have healthy self-esteem. But if you begin to think of yourself not only as a decent person but also as better than others, that is one of the first signs that your pride is starting to get out of control. If this sense of superiority becomes more firmly embedded in your self-concept, it can be difficult to identify the things you still have to learn. You may miss crucial opportunities for growth that can make you a more well-rounded, happier person. 

Personal Advantages of Healthy Pride

There are many things in the world that may try to make you feel as if you don't matter. Trauma, bullying and abuse can result in feelings of shame about who you are. Small, seemingly insignificant negative experiences can even trigger this type of emotion, particularly if they happen frequently. In these situations, developing a healthy level of pride is typically a vital part of the healing process.

For example, many LGBTQIA+ folks have experiences that were meant to invalidate their identities. Even (and for many, especially) after coming out, they are bombarded with microaggressions and other messages that who they are is somehow not who they are supposed to be. Aptly named, Pride events seek to combat these harmful messages by celebrating the joy found in being seen and loved exactly as you are. 

Social Drawbacks of Excessive Pride

An overabundance of pride can wreak havoc on your relationships with other people. The kind of pride that is overly concerned with how you appear to others often does nothing more than keep them at a distance. If you are so afraid of looking weak that you don't take any chances to be vulnerable with others, you may miss great opportunities for connection. Humans have relational needs, and the pride that they think keeps them safe is often the very thing that leaves these needs unmet.

Social Benefits of Exuberant Pride

Confidence is an attractive quality, but it's not necessarily a common one. Walking into an interview or a new social situation with the belief that you have a lot to offer may be the main thing that sets you apart from other people. If you also manage to balance your healthy self-esteem with an enthusiastic curiosity about the people you're engaging with, you set the stage for open, honest relationships with them.

Pride in your friends, partner, coworkers and children has many benefits as well. Everyone likes to be cheered on and have their achievements recognized, but taking time to validate and celebrate who they are is just as important. You never know how much of an impact you can have on others' self-esteem by simply saying how proud you are of them out loud.

Pride may not always be an easy thing to keep in balance. Once you learn to do so, however, you can hold on to confidence without becoming too arrogant.