When it comes to traditions and etiquette, weddings have more than their fair share of rules, especially if you’re a guest or a member of the bridal party. Most ceremonies will come with expectations from the bride, the groom, the family or a wedding planner. It’s a special day for the couple preparing to tie the knot and hopefully one that they’ll recollect fondly for years to come. The last thing you or anyone should want to do is make the event memorable for all the wrong reasons. Here are some things you should avoid.

1. Piggyback Proposals

A wedding ceremony and reception should be about the newlyweds. Using any of the day’s events to propose to someone else is a major no-no. Sure, love is in the air and the spirit of romance may be extra contagious, but you should not steal the show from the just-married couple. You’re also putting someone on the spot. Furthermore, if your proposal is rejected, you’ve not only killed the vibe, but you’ve buried it. Find some other time to pop the big question.

2. Wear White

In most Western ceremonies, a bride stands as the center of attention in her white gown. In some cases, a groom may also opt to wear a white suit. After all, it’s their party and they’ll wear white if they want to. You, on the other hand, should not. It might seem old-fashioned, but leave white (or off-white) clothes to the happy couple. There should be no confusion as to who’s getting hitched, and there are plenty of other colors for you to choose from.

3. Uninvited Guest

It’s pretty tacky to crash a wedding, right? It’s a special occasion for two people and their loved ones, so an uninvited guest might be like a “black fly in your Chardonnay.” Bringing along a plus-one when you don’t have one is almost as bad. Many couples have a budget that is based on the number of guests. It’s pretty disrespectful to show disregard for the plans that have been made by showing up with a tagalong that wasn’t indicated in the RSVP.

4. To RSVP or not to RSVP

Speaking of RSVPs, it’s very rude to not respond to a wedding invitation. The couple wants an accurate headcount when it comes to things like finding the right venues and having enough food and drink. Responding quickly helps them finalize their wedding plans sooner than later. Even if you can’t make the event, be a good person and send off a fast reply to the invitation.

5. Drunk Speeches

Almost nothing worth doing is done better under the influence of alcohol. This is especially true for a speech at the ceremony or reception. Remember, this is a major moment for people you love. You don’t want to embarrass yourself and others by sharing heartfelt words while you’re hammered. Saying a few words is an important task. Even if public speaking makes you a little nervous, don’t look to alcohol to help loosen up.

6. Tardy for the Party

Showing up late to events can put a damper on things, especially if you’re playing a key role in the ceremony or reception. Being tardy also takes attention away from the couple getting married. If you’re someone who struggles with being on time, take special care when it comes to a marriage ceremony. Someone you know and love thought so much of you to invite you to celebrate the start of a new life phase. Honor that person with punctuality. 

A wedding day is one where a couple hopes and expects everything to go according to plan. While you can’t control things like weather, you can certainly do your part by not doing anything that is inconsiderate and takes the focus off the newlyweds. Be a part of the joy, the peace and the love, not the chaos and frustration.