Going through the motions of planning a wedding can often feel overwhelming. From contracting with vendors to creating guest lists to selecting music for the reception, there is no end to the number of tasks you will need to complete. Of course, some of these responsibilities are more important than others. Writing your vows, for example, is no small feat. Reciting words of love in front of your friends and family is enough to cause stress, but creating personal vows without sounding too cliché is another matter entirely. Look over these tips to feel inspired and find the ideal words.
Speak From the Heart
When it comes to your vows, the best way to start is by speaking from the heart. With so many films, songs and books dedicated to the idea of romance, expressing your love can often feel generic. Still, the bond you share with your partner is unique. While some thoughts might seem trite, it is important to be honest with how you feel. Write out some initial thoughts you have about your significant other. A couple of these might be commonplace, but you’ll find a majority speak to the uniqueness of your relationship.
Also, don’t be afraid of seeming general in your thoughts or feelings. There’s a very good reason why the same sentiments are repeated through generations and across different cultures, sexualities, and beliefs.
Infuse a Bit of Humor
Your vows are a chance to speak truthfully about the person you love. While there’s a seriousness to this task, it does not have to be a somber or dull affair. In fact, plenty of couples opt to include some humor in their vows. Clever jokes and insightful one-liners can keep your guests engaged and keep the mood light. Naturally, try to avoid anything that will embarrass your partner or make the crowd feel uncomfortable. Poke fun at his or her foibles, but try not to tip into the realm of being deprecating toward the one you love.
Don’t Be Too Personal
A wedding is all about celebrating the love shared between two people. Though you should include some personal details in your vows, you want to be careful not to make the message too personal. Peppering in an inside joke or two is fine, but an entire speech comprised of references no one in the crowd will understand is an easy way to bore your guests. The event is about you, but this is not a private exchange. Cater the vows to the crowd by balancing the personal with the general.
Find Inspiration in Media
If you ever feel stuck while writing out your vows, look for inspiration. There are countless weddings featured in movies, television series, and theatrical works. Hop on YouTube and start viewing some of the more iconic scenes. You definitely don’t want to steal any of the ideas outright, but you can learn a lot about what you want to say and how you’d prefer to state your feelings by looking over noteworthy examples. As a bonus, try to watch only clips from media you enjoy with your partner.
Take a Test Drive
Before you commit to the final draft, take your words out for a test run. Call a friend or family member and go through your thoughts. While you should always take feedback with a grain of salt, you can definitely get a feel for how your vows are going to be received once you read them out loud to someone else. Make adjustments as needed and keep working on the finished product.
Though it can feel generic, putting thought into your wedding vows is important for your big day. As long as you use your own voice to express how you feel, it will be a lot easier for you to feel satisfied with the final results.