People of faith often consider gentleness to be a core value on which to base their lives. When they describe someone as being strong, however, they outline a very different type of personality. In Western cultures, it is common to associate strength with traits such as assertiveness, power and a competitive edge.

While you may want to exhibit both strength and gentleness, it can be difficult to reconcile these seemingly opposing characteristics. Fortunately, many spiritual leaders demonstrate that practicing gentleness is the true path to a calm, quiet strength that defies cultural expectations. Here are a few tips on how to follow in their footsteps.

Show Empathy and Concern

One of the hallmarks of gentle souls is the compassion they show to others. When people trust you with their stories, give them your full attention so that you can understand them on an emotional level. By taking the time to listen not only to what the other person is saying but also to what his or her vocal tone and body language are communicating, you are more likely to get the whole message.

While some people seem naturally good at empathizing with others, most people have to work at it a little. Being gentle involves putting aside your own agenda and opinions long enough to comprehend where the other person is coming from. 

Communicate Boundaries With Kindness

People like talking to others who are gentle about their problems. The more you practice gentleness, the more often you may find yourself playing a listening role for many of the people in your life. This can be both an honor and a stressor. It's vital for all people to set healthy boundaries in relationships, but it's especially important for those who are gentle.

Setting clear boundaries is a way to show reciprocal kindness. If a friend starts venting and you don't have the energy to devote your full attention, say so and schedule a time to talk later. When your coworker asks you to help on a project, evaluate your schedule and your own task list before saying yes. You have the right to keep your life manageable, and doing so gives you the space to be gentle in spirit as well as action.

Take Care of Your Pain

Just because you behave gently toward others, that doesn't mean they will automatically return the favor. Unfortunately, despite all evidence to the contrary, some people will view gentleness as a weakness that they can take advantage of. When this happens, it is hurtful, and it's natural to be upset.

Fight the urge to dismiss your bruised feelings, assuming that they are simply the price you pay for being nice. Over time, this can lead to resentment, which may result in becoming hypersensitive and lashing out at the smallest provocation. There are several things you can do to address your pain so that it does not consume you:

• Go for a walk with your partner or a close friend. Getting some light exercise while spending time with someone you love can reinforce positive feelings and allow you to blow off steam. 
• Take a break from screen time. Social media in particular can exacerbate stress, which is not useful if you're already feeling vulnerable.
• Avoid sugary snacks and alcohol. The piece of cake may be delicious and the wine may relax you, but using food and drink to soothe hurt feelings is more of an avoidance tactic than actual comfort. 
• Talk to a counselor. Sometimes getting an objective point of view or having someone listen well is just what you need to work through negative thoughts and feelings. 

True gentleness takes practice. Communicating well and taking a break when you need it can make it easier to embrace.